| I see the world how it is...in shades of gray. Nothing's totally clean or dirty. |
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The Angel of Death hath arisen once more...
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| Resonance |
[19 Sep 2005|12:17pm] |
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"Glass Vase Cello Case"//Tattle Tale |
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Behind every creation lies an ideal,
a meaning,
a purpose.
But what?
To find or create something so utterly breathtaking in any way, shape, or form. Something that resonates within you.
Within your very being. Something beyond your knowledge. Beyond practicality. A theme, a moral standing, or an underlying thought seeding it's way into your very soul without your knowledge.
An ideal grown into a rusted fantasy. And yet something remains. What remains reverberates with what you see, hear, taste, smell...
-sense with every part of your being-
Who you are, calling out to it in such a way that it brings you to your knees. You don't even know why, but it has such a profound effect on you. It might not even be the thing itself causing this reaction. It might be the neural pathways in your brain that link one thought to another. What starts out as something simple snowballs into a jumble of thoughts. This one leading to that one in a never ending roller coaster of feeling.
Yet the resonating remains. Reminds you of your feelings and breaks down every defense you might have put up.
And reminds you of what you truly are.
-Who- you truly are.
This anything in the world that resonates.
resonates.
Reminds you of your ideals. What you stood for once upon a time, should you have forgotten.
Your choices.
Your actions.
Your convictions.
And an even deeper lying acceptance of a fate that might come about. A possible ending to your story. One of endless possibilities. And yet...
It resonates.
That one thing that reminds you of just who and what you are.
And what you know you have to do.
---
There I was, standing in a church. I remember being the only one standing. I looked around and yet, the rows went on forever.
There was darkness in the church and everyone looked solemn and in mourning. Yet I did not know why. The Bishop was saying something but I could not hear his words. His face was to me, full of sadness.
Then a line of people came by me. I could not see where they began...or ended.
Out of the line came a tiny asian girl. Somewhere around 6 or 7. She had a strange sort of familiarity to her. I felt like I knew her well. She ran from the rest and clung to my waist. As I looked down at her, she looked up.
She was crying. I remember picking her up and saying one thing.
"I'll always be here. One way or another"
Then there was darkness.
I remember standing on the edge of a cliff. Overlooking that darkness. It wasn't some abyss of the unknown to me...I knew what I had to do. Where I had to go. With that, I jumped into the Darkness. But the fall wasn't long.
Immediately I started fighting things in the darkness. I don't know what I was fighting. Could have been a metaphor for my whole life. Combating the demons which reside in the darkness of my own soul. (sounds kinda cliche though neh?)
I kept fighting and fighting.
Then everything stopped...and I started falling.
I felt a warmth surround me. But there was no bright white light. Instead I opened my eyes and found myself in my sanctuary. The same place I felt her before. The place where I knew she was with me.
Even in death.
I felt peace...and yet I knew my work still wasn't done. I was given a choice.
Rest...and be free or live...and finish the work I set out to do.
The last thing I remember was holding my sword at the entrance to my sanctuary and looking back...There she was. Sitting on the fallen tree I've spent hours on.
She gave me a smile.
A smile that told me she knew what I had to do. And that she'd have to wait a little longer for me to return home.
Then I woke up. Alone in my pitch black room.
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| Mwa ha ha!!! |
[14 Jun 2005|01:04am] |
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"Vermilion pt. 2"//Slipknot |
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so yeah, update!I have artwork going up in the parade of homes. I find out tomorrow whether it's 1 piece or 5. who knows? I'm happy tho. Batman Begins tomorrow. Kinda mixed feelings about that. otherwise blah. working on a new pic. Met a psychotic girl I will never talk to again. blah. Weird day. ta
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| blah |
[03 Jun 2005|02:12am] |
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Okay Aaron. I want to ask what your deal is. Are you avoiding me or something? Don't invite me to hang out only to ignore me. I really hate spending a good 40 minutes trying to get your attention. Be it calling your apartment, calling your cell, knocking on your door, banging on your door, throwing rocks at your window, throwing assorted objects at your window, or calling your name. If you expect me to come over then don't close your door, ignore your cell phone, or listen to the movie you're watching so loudly that I can make out the dialogue when you're on the 2nd floor. That's just insulting to me. If you changed your mind about hanging out then atleast have the balls to just let me know you don't want to hang out. I'll be less pissed that way than how I was last night.
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| been awhile |
[25 May 2005|02:44am] |
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"Could it be any harder?"//The Calling |
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I need to update this thing more.
I'm done with school. all that's left for me is work. Josh might get a job aside from the art store which means more hours for me. Goodie. Another couple of coworkers though. so I won't be working 6 nights a week. this is good.
I leave for hawaii July 20th and leave there for Cali August 4th. I leave Cali august 8th and come home. I still don't have a date for when I leave on my mission.
I just want to hang out with my friends and have a good time before I leave. I just wish some of my friends would realize I'm not coming back. I might never see them again.
I miss you aaron. I miss hanging out with you. I consider you one of my best friends for a reason. I hate texting you and never getting an answer. You make things fun. After only hanging out with you for so long, it's weird hanging out with my other friends. I think you're one of the people i'll miss most.
I hope that wherever you go. You'll have fun and be happy. You deserve it. Not the shit you get here.
I wish I could have been a better friend for you.
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| ...if you weren't real I would make you up... |
[04 Jan 2005|12:31am] |
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"Honey and the moon"//Joseph Arthur |
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Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up...now...
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep as the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives.
Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave a message
On your answering machine
But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of Freedom,
Where no one lives.
Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight.
We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without a fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight
We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around
Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I'm falling down
But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
----------------------------
The song plays through my head. over and over again. "We're made of blood and rust, looking for someone to trust. Without a fight" I recently met an amazing person. Someone I could actually sit down with and for about 4 hours have a straight conversation. That's the first time I've ever been able to do that. It felt so good to let go. I know the time we had was short but sweet. I smile knowing we spent the time we had well. Atleast I think we did. "The higher you get your hopes up, the further they have to fall" don't get your hopes up I'd always tell myself. But for some reason I can't help myself. At the least...I want to see you again. I know I've told you this so many times...but it's still true. Watching you walk away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
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| It's been far too long... |
[01 Jan 2005|01:47am] |
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and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Yay. I got to kick off the new year by parting ways with someone I care very much for. goodie. She wouldn't let me say goodbye...Part of me wants to believe I'll see her again. yet part of me feels I never will. I don't want to believe it though. I want to see her again. I want to get lost in her eyes again...Nessa I miss you already...
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| It's been awhile |
[13 Jun 2004|01:49am] |
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I haven't updated here in awhile...Just had things going on I guess...don't know what to say...bye
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| And unto the wind shall I throw my memories...to forever drift across the sands of time. |
[13 Mar 2004|11:51am] |
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"Missing"//Gackt |
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Morgan I know you're scared of my japanese music. And it scared you how much of I had when you looked through my cd case. But I love it...there's one song in particular I love that seems to fit perfectly. Tell me what you think.
machikado de mitsuketa ano koro no kimi to yoku niteiru ushiro sugata
hitogomi ni afureta toori o nukedashite
ashibaya ni oikaketeita
The figure I saw from behind on the street corner looked just like you did then
I slip away from the street overflowing with crowds
And quickly chased after you
itsumo soba ni iru no ga atarimae to omotta ano koro ni wa
konna boku de sae aishitekureteta kimi made kizutsuketeta
"kimi o hanasanai... hanashitaku wa nai..."
ima demo todokimasu ka?
ano koro to kawaranu omoi ga...
At that time, I thought that you would always be by my side
I even kept hurting you who loved me
"I won't let you go... I won't want to let you go..."
Even now, does it reach you?
The feelings that haven't changed from that time
kizutsukeru koto de shika jibun no sonzai o kanjirarenai
oroka na boku
kurayami de obieta karada o dakishimetekureta koto
wasurenai yo
I only felt like I existed when I was hurt
My foolish self
You held me when I was afraid of the darkness
I won't forget that
kimi to hajimete deatta hi no koto o ima demo oboeteiru yo
shizuka na kaze ni kami o yurasenagara boku dake o mitsumeteta
kitto dare yori mo issho ni ireru to omotta kimi to nara
boku de sae waraeru to omotta
I still remember the day when I first met you
As the soft wind swung your hair, you looked just at me
You surely thought that I would be there with you more than anyone else
If I was with you, I thought that even I could smile
hanareru koto ga kore hodo tsurai koto da to
kizukanai furi shite kyou made hashiritsuzuketekita...
I didn't realize that letting go would be this painful
I pretended that and kept running until today....
boku ga kiete kara nakitsuzuketeita kimi ga shinpai datta kedo
boku no shiranai dareka to yorisotte aruku kimi o mitsuketa
sukoshi otona ni natta kimi wa motto suteki ni waratteta
mou nido to kimi wa nakanai de kimi wa nakanai de
egao o misete
You kept crying after I vanished, and I worried about you
But then I saw you walking close with someone I didn't know
You've grown up a bit, and laughed so beautifully
Never again, you won't cry again, you won't cry again
Show me your smile
"Missing"//Gackt
Quite fitting and a beautiful song overall. One of my favorites. I'll let you listen sometime. I AM SO FUGGIN' BORED!!!!!!!! Grah...I'm gonna go listen to music.
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| From the ash we come and unto that ash shall we return |
[12 Mar 2004|12:14am] |
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"Into the dark"//Juliana Theory |
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I bought a couple of games the other day. I was pissed so I figured I needed to go cool off so I left...got my schedule from Blockbuster...and went to the game store. There I found a game I had not seen for years...Omega Boost. One of the best mecha games I have ever played. I LOVE THAT GAME!!!! So much fun. I also bought a game called Battle Hunter. which is fun too. a bit more rudementary though...quite simple yet really really fun. Brought back my happy mood. ford said I was unusually happy the other day...downright cheery he said...*laughs* I guess I was happy...still am. And yet...it's when I become happy that I start remembering depressing things. does my body have like a natural timer to force me to start thinking of depressing things when I get too happy? grah I'll hit the snooze button on the timer...
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| I forgot... |
[07 Mar 2004|06:39pm] |
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"Into the dark"//Juliana Theory |
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Tiff I forgot to say this!!! I Hope you feel better soon!!! I promise I won't make any more chipmunk jokes. I really don't like it when you're sad though. I'll try to make you happy! don't know how but I will!
"I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it let's walk away from this hell" My theme line...
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| All this is an illusion |
[07 Mar 2004|06:17pm] |
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"Parabol"&"Parabola"//TOOL |
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Grah...I'm gonna move on. I'm tired with all this pain. I have Parabol and Parabola stuck in my head. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY FORD!!!! TOOL IS A GREAT BAND!!! AND THE SONGS ROCK! Yeah so I don't have to wake up till 12 monday, tuesday, and wednesday of this week cause the freshman and sophomores are taking the csaps. hahahaha I laugh at you. Then I go for our only full day on thursday then it's SPRING BREAK!!!!! I can't wait! I get to sleep in. And I'm excited about tomorrow too! It'll be the first time I've been able to hang out with my best friend alone since he got married! Oh and I'm gonna quit my craptacular job at Block Buster. I'm gonna try for Kohl's first. and if I can't get a job there then I'm gonna try Office Max and then Home Depot. if not there I'll try anywhere else except Walmart. I'm gonna go watch some of the asian movies I rented...The Legend of Suriyothai looks good...hmmm...Tiff I hope you feel better soon! I bet it sucks to get your wisdom teeth removed...I'll be here to help you all I can 'kay? I want to try and take away some of your pain...don't know what I can do...can't give you ice cream...hmmm...oh oh oh!!!! I got 2 cds from Karn!!!! I LOVE YOU KARN!!!!! THE CDS ROCK!!!!!! I love 'em ^^ I've had Into the Dark from Juliana Theory stuck in my head...Talk to you all later!
Dad, your boy is about to fall.
He walks the razor's edge.
He's on the brink of fading out.
He's at his bitter end.
Dad, your boy who used to run, you taught him how to crawl.
He left home to find his own, now all he had is gone.
In your eyes I see a darkness that torments you
and in your head where it dwells.
I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it.
Let's walk away from this hell.
Mom, your baby is on his way.
He'll soon be at your side.
Cause he's forgotten all he's known.
A part of him has died.
Mom may never understand why baby's come and gone.
He left home to find his own, now all he has are lies.
"Into the dark"//Juliana Theory
A fitting song...I like to think that the times he says mom or dad are the only times he's talking to them. The chorus "In your eyes I see a darkness that torments you and in your head where it dwells. I'd give you my hand if you'd reach out and grab it. Let's walk away from this hell." I think of that as if he's saying that to the person he loves. It's when I think of it like that can I truly relate.
"Take my hand and lead me away from here...lead me away from this hell"
-------------------------------------
So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now.
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.
We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in
This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion.
"Parabol"//TOOL
I'd like to be reminded I'm not alone...
We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment,
We are choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside
This holy reality, this holy experience.
Choosing to be here in
This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion.
Alive, I
In this holy reality, in this holy experience. Choosing to be here in
This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal
All this pain is an illusion.
Twirling round with this familiar parable.
Spinning, weaving round each new experience.
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing.
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment. Remember. we are eternal.
all this pain is an illusion.
"Parabola"//TOOL
All this pain is an illusion...please let that be true...
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If you knew I was going to die tomorrow...what would you do today?
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| Oh dear GOD am I bored... |
[29 Feb 2004|08:18pm] |
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"Seein' Red"//Unwritten Law |
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Perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut while I'm at church. Apparently my sarcasm gives others ideas...ideas I have to implement...(-.-)...grah the adults were talking about what we should do this wednesday for an activity...(I haven't gone to wednesday activities for like...5 years)...well someone said "Let's learn a new sport" so I jokingly said "You know swordfighting is a sport too" so the elders looked at me and said "alright this wednesday you're teaching us how to swordfight." @#%$ IT!!!!!!!!! They tricked me. So now I'm stuck. But I've gotten ford to come along to help. I'm gonna ask Kevin and Chris too...cause they have extra bokkens and shinais we need (^.^) Plus they can help demonstrate. I know my friend Chibi is coming too! That's the day she gets her braces off and she said I could be the first of her friends to see her without braces! So I invited her to come along and watch and she agreed ^^ And anyone else can come along if they want...just be at my church by 7 pm on Wednesday. My church is the one right next to the south building at school. Or you can just tell me you want to. I don't want to go to one of these things alone...I get scared...lol...scary mormons...And if Chris and Kevin come then we can actually film something! This week should be fun. I'll talk to you all later!
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| Why do I feel as though I'm falling apart at the seams? |
[27 Feb 2004|10:05pm] |
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"Until it sleeps"//Metallica |
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Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Strangely true isn't it? The ones that do love me deeply or always do seem to try to ease my suffering. If only they knew the suffering was partly due to them. It's strange though. People have said those things about me...sensitive...caring...deep...They all ring so familiarly. It's strange...Chris made me remember something I wrote when elfy died...so I kinda revised it today...still depressing as hell though...yet sadly fitting. *laughs* Seems sorrow is a constant companion in my life. But you know what? That's not all I have now. Cause now I have love. The most important person to me in the world taught me that. And I can't thank her enough. Feh...This result really does fit me...Broken wings...fits how I feel...broken...
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| Now I see the times they change |
[21 Feb 2004|02:10am] |
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so many songs...too hard to choose... |
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Everyone I'm sorry for the past month. I have not been myself. This past week or so I have been going back to how I was and now I think I can be who I was before...I think I can move on. That is if people want me to. For anyone who ever doubted me...I'm sorry...but I assure you...when you call I will come. When you fall I will catch you. And when you cannot stand I will carry you. and if I can....I'll be the angel from your nightmares.
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| I know it's a bit late but... |
[13 Feb 2004|03:58pm] |
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"Eyes on Me"//Faye Wong-Final Fantasy VIII |
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I got a rose for Elfy...I'm going to my sanctuary today with Morgan to...in a way...give it to Elfy. I hope I can make it through this now...
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| Donnie Darko is fuggin' awesome!!!! |
[08 Feb 2004|09:03pm] |
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"behind blue eyes"//The Who |
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It seems I've pissed off the most important person in my life...I didn't even know it. Oh well...screw this all!!!!!! I'm just gonna let go. (^^) I'm just gonna let go of all this pain and anxiety and frustration...I'm just gonna relax and take life in stride. Whatever happens, happens and I'm just gonna take it as it comes. I'm sorry for all the stress and pain I've caused everyone. Chris...sorry I got so pissed at you before. I was dealing with too much crap and I took some of that out on you and I apologize. You didn't deserve it. Kevin...Despite the fact that (in a sense) You're my rival...you're also one of my best friends. No matter what...I'll always be here for you. I hope you'll be here for me too.
Morgan-I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. You tell me not to worry but I'm still sorry. I'll back off for you. I'll try to go back to the way you used to know me. Lately I haven't been me...It's like I've been someone else and I'm sorry. I'll try to be me again. The one you knew before...That's the real me. I'm sorry you're pissed at me and I hope that one day I can help take away that anger. And I want you to know...promises don't break. No matter what. I just hope and pray that in some way you'll be with me this week...this one week that I know I'll need you the most. I'll need you most...when I need a friend. I know I'll always be there for you ^^
Dear god this week is going to suck...Please someone give me the strength to live through this one week...But still...come wednesday...I'm gonna be broken...I can't believe it's been almost a year since Elfy died...this will be the one time I truly need my friends. I don't think I can make it alone...for the first time in my life...I know I can't make it alone. But I'm alright. because...
...I know I'm not alone...
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| God it hurts to do anything... |
[05 Feb 2004|03:36pm] |
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"Crucify my love"//X-Japan |
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...plagued by these wounds that will not heal...Why does this hurt so much? Didn't go to school today. Told my parents I wasn't feeling well. And while it's true I'm not feeling well...I didn't mean it in the way they thought. I suffer in a different way. *sighs* It seems I've slept the day away...and I think I'll sleep some more. What would happen if I were to fall asleep and sleep for eternity? And never wake up? It's weird though...my dreams...aren't dreams at all. But rather memories. I'm remembering my earliest childhood...I was so sick back then...always sick. Always in pain. For so long I've thought I turned my back on those days and for so long I've thought those days wouldn't come back. Those days when I cared...those days when I would truly hurt. But what do you know? Those days did come back. I care...and I truly hurt. I feel so alone and I don't want to...not anymore. My memories...play in my head...over and over again every time I close my eyes. Those memories I tried so hard to forget. Abandoned back then by the one who meant the most and what do you know? History repeats itself. If I'm wrong about that then tell me. Don't hold in what you feel. Tell me the truth. I hate being kept in the dark. You were the one I trusted...and now this? What do you really feel? How do you really feel? Tell me so I can give some sort of answer to my pain...the pain that tears at my heart and soul begging...craving...an answer. just...tell me...Do I stay here in vain? God now this song is just running through and through my head..."Crucify my love, if my love is blind" ...tell me...Is my love blind?
Crucify my love
* if my love is blind
Crucify my love
if it sets me free
never know, never trust
that love should see a color
Crucify my love
if it should be that way
# swing the heartache
feel it inside out
when the wind cries
I'll say goodbye
tried to learn, tried to find
to reach out for eternity
where's the answer
is this forever
like a river flowing to the sea
you'll be miles away and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain
no reason to cry
Crucify my love
* repeat
till the loneliness shadows the sky
I'll be sailing down and I will know
I know I can clear clouds away
Oh! is it a crime to love
# repeat
* repeat
"Crucify my love"//X-Japan
Such a fitting song. And very well played. Hypnotic even.
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| It's funny how cruelly the world works... |
[04 Feb 2004|05:55pm] |
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"Only One"//Yellowcard |
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Why is it everytime I let my guard down...it seems the world comes crashing down upon me. And why is it that everytime I decide to trust someone I get let down. And why is it everytime I love someone...I end up alone? I'm 0 for 2 now. It's funny the things I'm remembering now...how these painful memories went away for that short time I was happy. and how now I remember everything in painful detail. I almost died so long ago...yet I fought to live on. I should have just let myself go. I shouldn't have come back. All this world seems to hold for me is pain and sadness...with those brief moments of happiness...but hey. That's life eh? You want me to go away? I will. I told you I would and I will. the only time I feel right is when I think about what I should have done so long ago...
...This feels right...
...I shouldn't have come back...
...Just when I think everything is perfect...
...I find out it was a lie...
...You never needed me...
...And if I'm wrong...
...let me know...
...let me know I'm not alone...
...This pain is so much more than I can take...
...and now...
...how can I pretend to be so strong?...
...In a way...
...I'm dying a bit more...
...with each passing second...
...Falling in love is amazing...
...Being in love is even greater still...
...But losing the one you love...
...I feel I've lost a part of myself...
...This feels right...
...I shouldn't have come back...
I'm sorry for everything I said...I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused. I'm just...so sorry...Goodbye.
__________________________________________________
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
"Only One"//Yellowcard
~Just for you...my only one.
~Good-bye~
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| I'm awake in this infinite cold... |
[30 Jan 2004|05:27pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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"Fade to Black"//Metallica (Hell yeah!) |
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Given the current circumstances...I'm actually semi happy. Despite that it's drawing nearer to feb. 11th which is going to be the day from hell. I swear to god I will take no shit that day. I might stab an extra few people with my pencil that day...just for shits and giggles. On the plus side I got to hang out with Morgan a bit. Despite the fact that Kevin was always there. I had things to say to morgan on several occasions but kevin was always there! And then I forgot what I wanted to say. damn I hate when that happens. Only 3 more days!!!! HELL YEAH! GO LINKIN PARK! I'm really excited. My first concert ever. Thanks for inviting me Ford. I feel like sparring someone. But in a serious match. Which sucks. No one around here can match me with a sword...And for the record. Steve couldn't match me...or I can't match him I should say. He'd kick my ass so fast...well I might be able to hold my own for like 5 minutes. But in a sword match that's pretty long! I swear it is...Anyways I'm putting metallica as my current song just to appease Ford. And Morgan...I'm sorry if I've seemed depressed lately. This is just a hard time for me and it's really hard for me to smile right now. I'll talk to you all later.
What's your name?
"I have no name. I am a shadow..."
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